Dear Next Generation,
As always, I was thinking about you and remembered a little piece of advice that I was given a long time ago. You have a lot of tools by your side that help you get along. You know just when to use the right one to help you succeed. That’s perfect but you can never have enough.
You always amaze me with your success, but can I offer another useful aide that has helped me? You can do with it what you will, I don’t mind. You probably already use it to some degree but haven’t really thought about it.
Think about this; have you ever relied on someone for something, a small thing yet it would help you immensely? And thinking it a small request, kind of expect cooperation from whom you asked?
You have? Awesome! I won’t ask the outcome because it may spoil my reason for this letter, so I want to go on the premise that they didn’t do as you ask.
In this way I can ask who ended up doing the task requested? And I even know the answer.
There are great reasons to ask a friend to help with something but should you be relying on that to happen? You know your friends and you know some would do “anything” for you, while others, well let’s just keep this nice.
Do you have friends that never ask for anything? Ask yourself why is that? Do they not think you will come through? Knowing you, I doubt that. They know how respectful and trustworthy you are. You are most likely their rock, the one friend they trust the most.
So why do they usually not ask for help?
They are using this tool that I am sharing with you now. It’s called self reliance. This is where you grow stronger by doing things for yourself. You find ways to accomplish things that you need on your own. The need for assistance becomes a hard choice.
And here’s the reward. When you accomplish something on your own you feel ownership of the results. The strength you gained by doing this allows for more room for additional trials. Each of these new tasks seem less difficult because you conquered that last one. Nothing could stop you, right?
Remember that friend that never asked for anything?
That’s you after using this secret of self reliance except;
The only time that strong friend would ask for help would be a serious affair. Listen closely. Be shocked as you should be at her asking for your help. She does everything for herself and is very strong, yet ask you for help this time.
I know that you will have her back and do what she asks but when you’ve run up against a wall, one that you’ve already tried to overcome, how hard will it be to ask for help?
After understanding this self reliance tool that I am suggesting, it will be very hard to ask.
Here is the catch 22 in this. You can be the strongest of the strong but still need help at times. It will be hard to ask for help after using all your resources to get there on your own.
In the end you may find that help is needed. You have become that friend that never asks for help. You hate asking but this isn’t trivial to you.
You have been a good person so there are true friends that you can confide in. Others that always cry wolf wouldn’t get a listen. Because of your past self reliance, this request is serious and only because of that. Your true friends will be shocked as you were when your self reliant friend asked you for help.
Because of the disdain of asking for help that will grow with your self reliance, you will try more than once to succeed before giving up. That giving up part gets lost in your ways and you forget how to use it. This is why you may appear invincible to your friends.
This tool will make you different in the eyes of others. They will always think that you are needless when in fact we can try to be that way, and that’s good, but sometimes a little help is all it takes to keep going being self reliant.
You will learn exactly when is the right time to ask for help without giving up. You may also find that there will be fewer and fewer people that can actually help you because they aren’t self reliant and can only suggest things that you have already attempted. This will boost your drive to accomplish it yourself.
Becoming self reliant will make you that one friend that actually can help with something when asked.
You are growing into a kind, powerful and giving generation.
I know that you will someday need this because you are already becoming so self reliant and that is good. Keep becoming the greatest generation ever and slip this tool beside the rest that you’ve used to get there.
Until next time Dear Next Generation, Do try new things safely for you and your generation.